Here is a link to the work I showed for my Critique #3:
I showed this work in room G303 using the over head projector and computer.
Here is the feedback I received:
- Perhaps signify that it is a dream at the beginning.
- Some said they didn’t know they were dreaming others said it was very obvious.
- Reminded people of ‘The Secret Garden’
- Suggestion – have a child moving in bed into a different scene.
I after showing the group my video so far I talked to them about the changes I intended to make. The majority of them did not agree with the changes I proposed which were disguised in my Oct 20th Tutorial with Will. They felt that the DIY scenes were great and nostalgic, they added texture and character and the scenes of the children spitting/eating rice bubbles with mess on table describes ‘Life’ in life’s terms. To remove them would be untrue to the essence of children. That this is an art piece.
I also sat down with another tutor (Jose) to get some feedback from her before I start my re-edit.
Jose felt that the clip was:
- A highlight of a day 18-48hrs
- She didn’t know how they got from the beach to the park as there was no car shot in-between, she felt confused.
- The evening filing was too light it didn’t feel like night time or the end of the day.
- The end felt like she was left hanging with no conclusion as the face lying asleep had lines in it which to her indicated morning – having slept all night, not going to bed.
- She loved the intro – the first 10 secs was awesome.
- Sensory shots the most important.
- Don’t organise it.
- Bath scene too long, more close up and sensory shots – create the compositions so the viewer really feels like they are experiencing it.
- Think about your transitions – eg: follow a leaf from one scene into another. Need the info for the transitions.